affirmationsPositive affirmations are pretty popular nowadays. They seem to be the cure it all medicine for an unfulfilled life.

If you have ever tried using them and they worked amazingly well: Lucky you. Most of the people do not have that much success and little results to show for.

Our beliefs have impact

Personally I think this has to do with the fact that we do not really believe in them. The fact that we start searching for a good affirmation is proof that we are experiencing a lack in that area of our lives.

Suppose you do not feel happy and you start repeating to yourself: “I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, …” how long does it take before a little voice in your head will whisper to you: “Who are you kidding?” And as soon as that voice pops up, it means that our inner dialogue is torn between two beliefs. We want to believe what we are saying, but deep down we only believe what we are thinking and feeling. Which is often not in alignment with the words we pick for our affirmations.

So, should we or shouldn’t we  use affirmations?

Another approach that delves deeper

My take on this? Whenever I feel the need for a change, I first start looking for the underlying reasons. Why do I search for a change in my life? What is missing and why is that missing? If you would like to ask yourself the same questions, than stay with your own experiences. Do not give in to the temptation of blaming everyone else. That is the easy way out. Instead keep asking yourself the why-question.


  • I don’t feel happy. Why?
  • Because I am so stressed. Why?
  • Because I do not take the time to sit down and rest during the day. Why?
  • ….

Keep asking why until you cannot come up with an answer any more. Then take a deep breath, look out of the window, smile, do whatever you can to distract you for a couple of seconds and then ask yourself the why-question again: So why is that? Very often we first hit a wall and then find out that there are more answers hidden underneath.

Go on as long as you can until you hit a second wall. Breath again, move around a bit and then go on for a third round. Most of the time you will then have reached your ultimate why.

So, now you are still not using any positive affirmations.

Instead you have been digging deeper and deeper. That’s great, because when you get to your hidden beliefs, you start to find out, what you REALLY need in order to feel happy.

Now you have found what you really want

Suppose your ultimate answer is: “Because I do not follow my own passion.” Then find out what your passion is and start living it. Even if it is for only five minutes a day. You need to get going and you can always expand on it. That has been my process and it worked better for me than any suggestion I used to override my dissatisfactions.

So, no affirmations at all?

I didn’t say that. Once you have found out the deeper reasons, there is room for the right affirmation. Instead of saying “I am happy”, you will now say “I choose to live my passion – and here is how I do that”. Then you take your life into your own hands.

And that is amazingly empowering.

Does this work for you? Or do you have other experiences?


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